DOT...DOT...DOT...

what is in between !?!

kwittin!

today is the first day of the year!  famous for making new years resolutions!!

So i am gonna kwit!  i have finished up what i had.... and then i am done!!  :)  i figure i would post every time i have a craven and save myself $5 and fix my teeth!!

appointment made for later January, i got to do it ~~  i just cant afford it!

Day 1 of this NEW YEAR!

New Year's Eve day I spent at a funeral.... burying my cousin's husband.  Just a few years back i had an online meet & greet at my home and he showed up!  Later my cousin and him realized they lived just down the road from one another.  From that moment of meeting, they started dating and it wasn't long afterwards that they became married!  I believed you could find TRUE LOVE online!   

I had met a man as well....  he entered my life.... and several years later i had to make him exit my life!   I loved him, and deep down inside I still love him!  I just knew that it was not a healthy relationship because of the kid factor!  

I started seeing my cousins relationship falling apart...  I realized that their was so much bitterness in my cousins heart from her father dying and her mother jumping into another relationship after a lifetime with my uncle!  It made me hurt, my heart hurt, and i saw the members of their family hurting from choices beyond their control.  Yesterday at that funeral with all but the "new" Step-Father attending, I didn't see Unity .... I still saw the bitterness, I did see them come together as a family, but i didn't see the family that i once knew!  

Growing up, My uncles family was everything that i wanted for my own family!   My dad had left us, my mom was a single mom, and the old song "Time Marches On"  resembled our family!  Our Family circle had been broken, there was nothing sacred in our bond!   It has remained that way for the last 35 years and i am only 42!  Today the folks i call my family live so dysfunction-ally and life for most is miserable! 

I remember the last conversation i had with this dear guy was about attending the funeral of my ex-husband's father and how i got bit in the rear by Kharma "AKA spider" at the graveyard because my ex-husband had left the crucifix for his father's casket in my truck, he rode with me to the graveside from the church!     Anyways.... that was my conversation with him a year ago when Kharma let herself be known loud and clear in my life!!!